WHITE, tony cedric

[tony cedric white]

TELL US, TONY CEDRIC WHITE, TELL US EVERYTHING

HELLO, THERE. WE'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOURSELF. ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE WE START?
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" I’m a bundle of minorities…? The hell kinda question is this… Ahah- anyway. Yes, these are my shoes. Yes, they are very, very clean. It’s a black-guy thing. "

LET'S START WITH THE BASICS. NAME, AGE, GRADE...
ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT'D BE USEFUL.
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" Aren’t you already supposed to know this stuff? Ah well… Name’s Tony Cedric White- er, yes, White. As in the color… No, I’m not shitting you. If I were, it would be ‘Brown’. Anyway, I’m seventeen, I’m a senior… I didn’t always live in Colorado- I was born in Texas, raised there until some shit went down, then we packed up and moved here. It’s a big change, but I like it. Mostly… shit, got off topic. My birthday is March 9th, 1993. Don’t spread that around- people saying ‘happy birthday’ is just weird."

OKAY, GREAT. NOW YOU'VE GOT PRECISELY TWO MINUTES
TO TELL US ALL ABOUT YOURSELF
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"Christ, I hate these questions. I like making people feel good about life in general. If that means I have to act like a retarded politician, I’ll do it. I just hate it when people are upset, so I try to skip all that crap and just keep them happy. Life can always get worse, but people don’t get that. I have my issues, believe me, but I deal with them the best way I know how. I don’t really trust people- I’m not sure I ever will, but no one has to know that. All they have to know is that I’m a stable sort of person and they can come to me if they need help or whenever shit hits the fan, I don’t give a damn.

I have some jealousy issues- I like to think I’ve got a pretty good handle on those, but only time will tell. That jealousy mostly only springs up in relationships, anyway, and with the brain-cells I’m losing every time my head gets slammed into a locker, I might as well be a retarded politician. Know what that means? No relationships. People need to feel safe, which is what I like assuring them, safety. If feeling safe means shoving my head into a locker… Whatever, as long as it’s me and not someone else. Hn? Yeah, I’m talking about the ‘infamous jackass’. No, I don’t really want to talk about him. Goes against my little moral code. Anyway…

I downsize crap. If it’s something horrible, awful, can’t-be-looked-at-without-causing-depression, I can deal with it, no problem. It’s what makes me the go-to guy for advice and crisis crap; I just kinda have a delayed reaction when it comes to seriously horrible shit, so I have the ability to stay stable until everyone is out of the danger-zone, thennnn I deal with whatever effect that shit had on me. Other people come first- that’s just how I brought myself up. Papa had to get his anger out, Mama had to feel nice, then I could go do what I wanted. I fix people… I just can’t fix myself."

NOW HOW ABOUT THAT LOVE LIFE OF YOURS?
WE HAVE TO ASK--IT'S A LEGAL THING TO KEEP TRACK OF COUPLES.
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"First day for anything- I wear a very specific shirt. Yes, it’s the one I’m wearing right now. Nice bold, rainbow letters that spell PRIDE. I never had to deal with that whole closet-phase, One minute I wasn’t so sure, the next I was damn sure, and I’ve been damn sure ever since. From my experience- being ‘out and proud’ generally helps a lot of other people who are not. Yeah, I get a lot of shit for it, as demonstrated by encounters with ‘jackass’, but I’m alright with that. I’m especially alright with those encounters- because I know something other people don’t know. So long as people target me with that homophobe crap and not other people- I don’t really care. They can’t do anything worse than what has already happened, so it’d be a walk in the park for me. Other people who haven’t gone through as much…? Well, that might just really hurt them. I don’t like that- so I’m glad the negative attention is on me."

MAN, I SWEAR I SAW YOU ON TV THE OTHER DAY! HMM,
NO WAIT. CAN'T BE. YOU LOOK WAY CRAPPIER. ANYWAY.
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"… You mean that convict that escaped from prison, made the mistake of shooting up a subway, and then tried to use a small child as a meat-shield, and was then knocked out and had his ass dragged back to jail? Yeah. I get that a lot… It’s got something to do with the tattoos, the scruffy beard, the black-ness, and baggy-ish clothes. Wait- you didn’t mean him? How about Morgan Freeman or Obama? Too distinguished? Ohhhh, Travis Mccoy. Yeah, that makes sense."

HUH-UH. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET PERSONAL FOR A MINUTE HERE
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, KID?
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"Well… I was raised in a pretty bad neighborhood- my dad was a crazy alcoholic, he liked to get rough with mom and me, but he wound up in jail, and that’s where he’ll be for another ten years. I try not to bring it up; I don’t like bringing anything that happened in the past up. Some unpleasant shit went down; I’d prefer not to talk about it… A lot of people are under the impression my life has just been sunshine and daisies. I wish they were right. What's that in your hand...? Hospital rec- no. No, you need to stick those in the filing cabinet and never take them out again. No, I don't want to talk about it. Christ. I have basketball practice now, bye."

THANK YOU! THIS HAS BEEN VERY ENLIGHTENING
NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE PUPPET MASTER AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY!
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HEY, PEOPLE! IT'S BOO HERE, WRITING THIS AS WE SPEAK
FROM DFW, USA! PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CONTACT ME
JUST HAVE TO PM OR FIGURE OUT MY MSN. FEEL LIKE YOU ALREADY
KNOW ME? THAT'S BECAUSE I ALSO PLAY THE MAGNIFICENT
CRICKETS IN THE CORNER.

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MATILDA, AKA GEE, IT'S MATILDA ! ON CAUTION 2.0,
MADE THIS APPLICATION. DUNSTEAL, AND EVERYONE
WILL BE HAPPY. "HAPPY AS A HIPPO." ALONG CAME P
OLLY, ANYONE? OKAY. I'M SHUTTING UP NOW. BAIBAI.