Post by jackie aaron wilson on Oct 13, 2010 10:26:16 GMT -7
TELL US, JACKIE AARON WILSON, TELL US EVERYTHING
HELLO, THERE. WE'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOURSELF. ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE WE START?
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"How long is this going to take? I have practice in like an hour. The coach will be pissed if his star forward misses the first practice of the year.."
LET'S START WITH THE BASICS. NAME, AGE, GRADE...
ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT'D BE USEFUL.
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"All right. Uhh....so, I'm Jackson Aaron Wilson. I know, I know. That name is awkward. Too many ons. I go by Jackie though, because that sounds a lot less stupid than Jackson. I'm seventeen, February 18th, 1993--and I'm a senior. Top o f my class, actually. I'm king."
OKAY, GREAT. NOW YOU'VE GOT PRECISELY TWO MINUTES
TO TELL US ALL ABOUT YOURSELF
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"So, i'm the king of Chesterhunt. Everybody knows it. I've worked my ass off to get to this point. In my freshman year, I sucked up to all the seniors, basically doing everything short of sucking their cocks to learn all of their secrets. I work hard in school, I run my ass off for all the sports teams--so yeah, apparently i've become a bit of a douchebag. You don't get to the top without stepping on a few people on the way. Now that I'm on the top, I can be a dick to whoever I want. I rule this school with an iron fist, with my diva attitude. You can't deny I'm in charge--I'm the fucking front runner for Valedictorian, along with captain of student council, captain of the basketball, volleyball, baseballs teams. My dorm is where everybody goes to party.
To be totally honest though, it's hard to be the King. I don't feel like I have any real friends. I mean, I have my best friend jagger, and I rap in his band. We've been friends forever and he was there for me back when I was still skinny and getting beaten up. I get stressed out a lot, and so I spend a lot of time dealing with this stress--nothing unhealthy though. Occasionally, I'll split a spiff with Jagger, but nothing else. I have a firm stance against harder drugs, I think it can really really fuck people up.
I have to be the best. If I'm not the best at something, I constantly remember that one thing. It stays with me, and as I lie awake in the middle of the night sometimes, I think about these things. I think about girls who have rejected me, or tests I've failed, or things i've screwed up on. I think about times I've been smacked over the back of the head for acting 'queer', or on the slow, low head shake my mother gives when she's truly disappointed. It eats away at me, and makes me feel like I'm not good enough--so I try harder. I have to be better than everyone."
NOW HOW ABOUT THAT LOVE LIFE OF YOURS?
WE HAVE TO ASK--IT'S A LEGAL THING TO KEEP TRACK OF COUPLES.
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"My love life...wow. Um, okay. First off, I've never been in love. I don't see the point. I'm seventeen--I have other things to worry about right now. That being said, I have had lots of girlfriends, and I've probably slept with every single girl native to Chesterhunt between the ages of 16-21. At least, the hot ones. I'm working my way through the other girls at the school, haa. I'm perfectly completely one hundred percent heterosexual--who told you otherwise?! I hate gays. I push that one kid Tony headfirst into lockers every single day. Everyone sees it, so everyone knows the Jackass hates homos."
MAN, I SWEAR I SAW YOU ON TV THE OTHER DAY! HMM,
NO WAIT. CAN'T BE. YOU LOOK WAY CRAPPIER. ANYWAY.
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"Uh...I don't have any idea who you're talking about. THe guy from Chronicles of Narnia? Apparently i look like him...oh, and Jim Morrison. I get jim Morrison sometimes. Once, someone told me I look like Tina Fey. I'm 6'3, and my playing weight is 140lbs. I'm all lean muscle, so it looks like I'm a lot skinnier than I actually am. I will admit to being a bit of a diva about my hair, and I wear whatever's comfortable and stylish...except my glasses. I am shortsighted, but i never wear them because they're fucking gay. Also, if you see my medical ID, don't be alarmed---I have severe severe food allergies. OH! FUCK! The name just hit me. Were you watching something with William Beckett?!"
HUH-UH. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET PERSONAL FOR A MINUTE HERE
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, KID?
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"...I haven't been attracted to a girl since I was twelve. Like, really. Do I think I'm gay? Yeah--I'm...I'm gay. I just can't be though. I don't want to be. I'd give anything to change it. It's like the worst possible thing that could happen to me."
THANK YOU! THIS HAS BEEN VERY ENLIGHTENING
NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE PUPPET MASTER AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY!
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HEY, PEOPLE! IT'S FACTS HERE, WRITING THIS AS WE SPEAK
FROM ALBERTA, CANADA! PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CONTACT ME
JUST HAVE TO MSN. FEEL LIKE YOU ALREADY
KNOW ME? THAT'S BECAUSE I ALSO PLAY THE MAGNIFICENT
nobody.
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MATILDA, AKA GEE, IT'S MATILDA ! ON CAUTION 2.0,
MADE THIS APPLICATION. DUNSTEAL, AND EVERYONE
WILL BE HAPPY. "HAPPY AS A HIPPO." ALONG CAME P
OLLY, ANYONE? OKAY. I'M SHUTTING UP NOW. BAIBAI.
