DOWNES, casey

[casey jaye downes]

TELL US, CASEY JAYE DOWNES, TELL US EVERYTHING

HELLO, THERE. WE'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOURSELF. ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE WE START?
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"uh, firstly hola! i'm casey, and if you make me tacos i'll be your best buddy-- evar?"

LET'S START WITH THE BASICS. NAME, AGE, GRADE...
ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT'D BE USEFUL.
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"woah, you waste no time, haha. i like that. anyways, i'm casey jaye downes. my parents were planning on another boy, to go with my two retarded ones. so, instead of "casey jason", it was just casey jaye. i dig it though, makes me unique. er, not unique so much as odd, but that was a given coming from my family. uh, i don't know why you want my age-- but i'm sixteen, and i'm a junior. i'm french, irish, and english. i dig... pasta? yeah, that's kinda weird, anyways. uh, my original name was to be after my great grandfather-- but, isn't he lucky? he shares what was going to be his name with a girl. yeah. epic. win. right?"

OKAY, GREAT. NOW YOU'VE GOT PRECISELY TWO MINUTES
TO TELL US ALL ABOUT YOURSELF
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"precisely two minutes? hm, better not waste any time then, yeah? all right, well. i'm odd. i'm loud, quiet, oblivious and completely observant. yeah, walking contradictions for the win. lemme elaborate. i'm loud when i'm with my friends, but around people i don't know? i'm as quiet as a mouse. i'm oblivious towards relationships, when a guy is putting out his best moves-- they are wasted on me. i'm observant of people around me, though. their flaws, the way the touch their hair, the way they crack their knuckles, random things in the background. that's what i pay attention to, it's weird. i've got a creative mind, but a confused one at that. um, i'm straightedge. yeah, stop giving me that weird look. i don't drink, i don't do drugs, and i don't sleep around. oh yeah, and i'm a virgin, but don't tell please. anyways, uh i dig zombie shit, and horror flicks. i'm a big book worm, oh and i skateboard. as far as strengths go, the biggest i guess is my conviction. i'm firm in my beliefs, as in. ya can't shake me! um, despite my petite-ness i'm a tough little cookie. uh.. let's see, oh yeah! i'm loyal, and i'm pretty honest-- although i do tend to exaggerate. for weaknesses? let's see, i got a myriad of them! uh, let's see-- i'm kinda nervous around people i don't know, a bit skittish-- honestly. i'm too nosy for my own damn good, i think too much, and i have a hard time hearing people. i blame that on blaring music, but whatever! i've got this issue with staying out of my friend's business. i'm one of those "you fuck with my friends-- i'm coming at you with a butcher knife" kinda people, but i hate fighting dirty, so how's that for ya? oh yeah, and wanna know some shit i hate? drug addicts. druggies, sluts, whores-- i'm good with stoners, and shit, just don't pressure me. oh yeah, and i'm really not that partial towards alcoholics either. i know it sounds odd but that's who i am. don't like it? suck my brother's dick, bitch. no, but really. i'm nice."

NOW HOW ABOUT THAT LOVE LIFE OF YOURS?
WE HAVE TO ASK--IT'S A LEGAL THING TO KEEP TRACK OF COUPLES.
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"love exists, i know because my parents are two of the most devoted people i've ever met. my love life is nonexistent though, despite the fact that i believe in love-- i don't believe i'll ever fall in love. i know that sounds really odd for someone of such a young age, but it's true. these days, everyone is all about lust. i want something solid, something real. that must sound strange from a girl who hangs around kids that are known for doing the dirty and not giving a damn, but.. i don't know. i guess i'm different? uh, i'm a virgin, and it's not that i'm prude or anything-- i just, when i do lose it... i want it to be with someone i really like, so they won't make fun of me when i say i'm nervous, you know? heh, i sound like such a coward, but it's the truth. i'm just a little girl scared of stupid things."

MAN, I SWEAR I SAW YOU ON TV THE OTHER DAY! HMM,
NO WAIT. CAN'T BE. YOU LOOK WAY CRAPPIER. ANYWAY.
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"oh, thanks for bruising my ego. what, your forty? oh--- i thought you were like sixty, you should get a face lift, and brush your teeth you nasty fuck. -laughs- anyways, a lot of people say i look like hayley williams, but yeah. i don't know about that. i have neon hair, i'm about one hundred and ten pounds, oh yeah, and i'm really short, like five feet tall. i'm actually learning to dig it. there's just something about cute, giant boys protecting me at shows from the pit that makes me love it, haha. anyways, i'm pastey as hell, and i'm digging it, i don't rock tan skin well, anyways. what else do you need to know? i have a small ass, and i don't have epic tits. i'm just me."

HUH-UH. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET PERSONAL FOR A MINUTE HERE
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, KID?
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"my secret? it's medical. i'm taking medications for hallucinations, and tremors. the tremors are a cause from the mix of medication when i was five for hallucinations. i hallucinate bugs everywhere, and on everything. it scares the shit out of me. the tremors, well.. they say it may end up in parkinson's disease later, but sometimes i forget to take it. the only place it's really visible are my hands, which is why i tend to wear hoodies so much."

THANK YOU! THIS HAS BEEN VERY ENLIGHTENING
NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE PUPPET MASTER AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY!
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HEY, PEOPLE! IT'S TWITCH HERE, WRITING THIS AS WE SPEAK
FROM BOSTON, USA! PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CONTACT ME
JUST HAVE TO AIM: HELLOVULTURE. FEEL LIKE YOU ALREADY
KNOW ME? THAT'S BECAUSE I ALSO PLAY THE MAGNIFICENT
NO ONE

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MATILDA, AKA GEE, IT'S MATILDA ! ON CAUTION 2.0,
MADE THIS APPLICATION. DUNSTEAL, AND EVERYONE
WILL BE HAPPY. "HAPPY AS A HIPPO." ALONG CAME P
OLLY, ANYONE? OKAY. I'M SHUTTING UP NOW. BAIBAI.